Thanks your message!
子供返りができるっていいことじゃないかな〜
困るんだ？なんで？仕事してるわけじゃないよね？
私は子供の気持ち、素直な気持ち、感じられるはずの気持ち。
が出てこなさ過ぎて「困る」だったからな〜
普通の人なら、感じて当たり前の
怒りとかイライラとか焦りとか
うろたえるとかびっくりとか
悲しい、寂しい、つらい、苦しい
を 感じられない代わりに
過食嘔吐が酷い。だったから。
笑わない、怒らない、誰とも合わせられる、
普通、取り乱して慌てたり泣いたりしてしまう状況でも
不自然に冷静。
で、
自分の好きなものも嫌いなものも分からない。
何がしたいのかなんて更に分からない。
でも、だって、そんなの分かったって
人に合わせるのに不便だからいいや。
それで、ひとりになると、過食嘔吐が止まらないのよ、なんで？
だったんだよね。これを病気と知る前。私。
きっと、似たようなんだろうなあ・・・って思って。
普段、本当に大人っぽくて、
冷静で努力家でよく気がつく働き者で、
感情をあまり表に出さない（出せない）子で。
本当は、認めたくなくても、
可愛いもの大好きで、笑ったり怒ったり泣いたり百面相で、
気まぐれで、好き嫌いが激しくて、・・・
でも、育った環境のせいで、
そういうありのままの自分をよしと出来ずに、
今の性格と嗜好と病気の大人になってしまったのね。
いいと思うんだけどなー子供返り。
これで、何か、人と接するとか、
責任が重めというような仕事してるっていうなら「困る」けどね。
ちょっと残っている大人の自分で「よしよし。かわいいよー」
って、してあげられるといいね。
相手があるなら、あまえさせてもらうといいよね。
子供の気持ちを感じるって、表現するって、
恐ろしいかもしれないけど、
この病気の人が良くなるときには、
大切だよ。
はて。子ども返り。How should we say?
"be getting back to a childish state"?
"Now, she looks getting back to a baby, please let her lie in your lap?"
Frankly, I think it's good thing to be back to a little girl.
But she somehow says she's in trouble.
I was in trouble that I couldn't feel what I should feel,
for healthy people, in case they get in such situation,
they should get angry, get embarrassed, irritated, surprised, frustrated,
but I would never be, and instead of that,
I overate terribly all day long when I got alone.
I seldom used to laugh, get angry, could get friendly with anyone,
could talk with friendly anyone,
in any situation, awkwardly I didn't lose my cool,
and I couldn't understand what I like and what I hate,
of course can't get what I want to do, but thought that's convenient to live with the other without self-assertiveness.
All of this is the way I was - before I know overeating is a disease.
Reading your blog, but that's just a few weeks,
and sorry if it sounds very rude -
I think you're very alike as I was.
Usually you must behave polite, gentle and kind, friendly,
mature, so cool, hate so-called pretty-"kawaii"things,
but in fact, even if you can't accept,
you love kawaii things, easy to get happy, busily laugh, cry, get surprised, in fact you're so lovely girl.
The way of getting grown-up, that inappropriate upbringing shocked your present character, the way of thinking, living.
But I determine, we are safe.
If we can't change present parents, and relationship with them,
we can change the way of thinking, live, feeling the real world,
everything of us unnaturally distorted when we get grown-up.
We can get normal eating life gradually without specific control or medication.
Getting back to childish state? I think that's favorable.
In case you're working, and you have to have a sense of responsibility and get punctual always and so on,
getting a baby state is very annoying thing, but apparently you're just graduated from school (you have studied much more and longer than usual people?),
I think however you get so, you and people around you won't be in trouble much.
It's very important for us to understand how the inner-child of us are feeling, how we really are.
And if possible, with the rest of adult-part, ah, you have very perfect person to do that! (Different from me :)
I hope you can have your BF cherish and embrace her much.
Good night, I wish you have a nice dream.
*Still I don't get where you live, which time zone... EDT or GMT?
困るんだ？なんで？仕事してるわけじゃないよね？
私は子供の気持ち、素直な気持ち、感じられるはずの気持ち。
が出てこなさ過ぎて「困る」だったからな〜
普通の人なら、感じて当たり前の
怒りとかイライラとか焦りとか
うろたえるとかびっくりとか
悲しい、寂しい、つらい、苦しい
を 感じられない代わりに
過食嘔吐が酷い。だったから。
笑わない、怒らない、誰とも合わせられる、
普通、取り乱して慌てたり泣いたりしてしまう状況でも
不自然に冷静。
で、
自分の好きなものも嫌いなものも分からない。
何がしたいのかなんて更に分からない。
でも、だって、そんなの分かったって
人に合わせるのに不便だからいいや。
それで、ひとりになると、過食嘔吐が止まらないのよ、なんで？
だったんだよね。これを病気と知る前。私。
きっと、似たようなんだろうなあ・・・って思って。
普段、本当に大人っぽくて、
冷静で努力家でよく気がつく働き者で、
感情をあまり表に出さない（出せない）子で。
本当は、認めたくなくても、
可愛いもの大好きで、笑ったり怒ったり泣いたり百面相で、
気まぐれで、好き嫌いが激しくて、・・・
でも、育った環境のせいで、
そういうありのままの自分をよしと出来ずに、
今の性格と嗜好と病気の大人になってしまったのね。
いいと思うんだけどなー子供返り。
これで、何か、人と接するとか、
責任が重めというような仕事してるっていうなら「困る」けどね。
ちょっと残っている大人の自分で「よしよし。かわいいよー」
って、してあげられるといいね。
相手があるなら、あまえさせてもらうといいよね。
子供の気持ちを感じるって、表現するって、
恐ろしいかもしれないけど、
この病気の人が良くなるときには、
大切だよ。
はて。子ども返り。How should we say?
"be getting back to a childish state"?
"Now, she looks getting back to a baby, please let her lie in your lap?"
Frankly, I think it's good thing to be back to a little girl.
But she somehow says she's in trouble.
I was in trouble that I couldn't feel what I should feel,
for healthy people, in case they get in such situation,
they should get angry, get embarrassed, irritated, surprised, frustrated,
but I would never be, and instead of that,
I overate terribly all day long when I got alone.
I seldom used to laugh, get angry, could get friendly with anyone,
could talk with friendly anyone,
in any situation, awkwardly I didn't lose my cool,
and I couldn't understand what I like and what I hate,
of course can't get what I want to do, but thought that's convenient to live with the other without self-assertiveness.
All of this is the way I was - before I know overeating is a disease.
Reading your blog, but that's just a few weeks,
and sorry if it sounds very rude -
I think you're very alike as I was.
Usually you must behave polite, gentle and kind, friendly,
mature, so cool, hate so-called pretty-"kawaii"things,
but in fact, even if you can't accept,
you love kawaii things, easy to get happy, busily laugh, cry, get surprised, in fact you're so lovely girl.
The way of getting grown-up, that inappropriate upbringing shocked your present character, the way of thinking, living.
But I determine, we are safe.
If we can't change present parents, and relationship with them,
we can change the way of thinking, live, feeling the real world,
everything of us unnaturally distorted when we get grown-up.
We can get normal eating life gradually without specific control or medication.
Getting back to childish state? I think that's favorable.
In case you're working, and you have to have a sense of responsibility and get punctual always and so on,
getting a baby state is very annoying thing, but apparently you're just graduated from school (you have studied much more and longer than usual people?),
I think however you get so, you and people around you won't be in trouble much.
It's very important for us to understand how the inner-child of us are feeling, how we really are.
And if possible, with the rest of adult-part, ah, you have very perfect person to do that! (Different from me :)
I hope you can have your BF cherish and embrace her much.
Good night, I wish you have a nice dream.
*Still I don't get where you live, which time zone... EDT or GMT?
